Controlling Life

You are Not in Control

 “An important mark of good leadership is letting go of control. Are you in control when you are sleeping or when you are dreaming? Your heart pumps oxygen on its own. Are you in control of your thoughts? You are not.

          So, when you realize that you really do not have any hold over all the critical aspects of your life, then you learn that the idea that you are in control is an illusion. And knowing this will relax you.”

Currently, I am reading a book by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar called ‘Management Mantras- Keys to Effective Management and Leadership’ and I am already fascinated by his sayings. The above-mentioned quote is one of his sayings on how we try to control our lives and I couldn’t agree more.

We Think that We are in Control of our Lives

Control your Thoughts

We plan our future, think about how our future will look like. Pre-plan our family, our income and our retirement age as well. But what if tomorrow never comes for us? I know it sounds scary but it is a possibility, right?

One of the biggest causes of increasing anxiety amongst people is because they think that they are in control. They think that they can control something from happening.

But it’s not like that. We don’t control life. Life controls us. No matter how much we try to overthink every possibility, every negative thought or any result, but whatever that’s meant to happen will happen.

It’s not your fault, and you can’t do anything about it either.

If you Control Things, it causes Anxiety


The reason why I can relate to that above-mentioned quote was that I too think that if I am thinking something, I can control the outcome. And if anything, remotely happens of whatever thought that came in my mind be it negative or positive, I feel that it was because of my thought that that thing happened.

And that makes me anxious because I feel guilty of thinking negatively in the first place. If you’ve been in this situation then comment below.

Earlier I used to panic a lot whenever my brain came up with a negative thought. But lately, I’ve been re-processing my mind that whatever I am thinking, be it positive or negative is not under my control.

Re-process your Mind Every Day

Our brain comes up with approx. 50-60,000 thoughts/ day. Yes, that’s a lot. But we don’t realize it because most of the thoughts occur in our subconscious mind and only a few are present in our conscious mind which we deal with.

Control your Emotions

Imagine if we had to deal with all those thousands of thoughts daily? Even imagining it makes me feel sleepy and exhausted.

So, whenever your mind thinks of a negative thought just re-process your mind that you are not in control of that thought and neither of the outcome. And just see your mind going from an anxious state to a peaceful state in seconds.

That’s what I do every time. Even the most positive people have negative thoughts. So, don’t beat yourself up for that. Instead re-process it practically.

Just stay in the moment because that’s all you have. Seize the day my friend!! Don’t try to control life, just live it one day at a time!!

Also, if you want to read about how to step out of your comfort zone to aim high in life, then read my latest blog for The Times of India Newspaper’s website.

TOI Blog- https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/gratisoul/take-that-first-step/

Apart from that, I upload a new video on my YouTube channel EVERY FRIDAY!! Are you following me there Gratisouls?

Follow the link to watch this video to know how to attain Inner peace? Also, there is some fun Bollywood behind the scenes too!!

And, if you want to ask some life-related questions, then you can chat with me by clicking on that side chat box and let’s bond over some positive vibes!!

Until then, live positively and happily!



Hey people! I am Karishma Verma but most people just call me Kaddie. I graduated in mid 2018. I am an engineer by profession and an upbeat human, who likes to motivate and spread positive vibes around myself amongst my people! I am a Gratisoul and would love to proliferate these upbeat vibes to folks across every possible age bracket. So, let’s begin this journey of becoming ‘Gratisoul’ together!!


January 16, 2020 at 4:41 AM

I have no problem not being in control! It’s a relief actually!

January 16, 2020 at 5:01 AM

Yeah I agree And I do the same thing trying to control things. I have been trying the same thing by reprogramming the mind and it’s tough. It’s an ongoing struggle sometimes but sticking with it is key. Thank you

    January 19, 2020 at 1:37 AM

    I can relate to you. I too try to control things and end up getting stressed out!! And re-programming our mind is the best way to stay stress-free!!
    Thank you for sharing your insights on the same!

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