How many friends do you have? Let me re-frame that question, how many close people do you have?
Even if you don’t have any friends, there might be 1-2 close people in your family with whom you can share about things that are close to your heart.
Now, in that small group of people, do you trust that they are a good influence on you or there might be any hidden agenda behind their bond?
I’m not saying to doubt your friends or family because those people are closest to us and we can’t hear anything against them. I get it. I too am protective about my relations!! (Not over-protective, because overprotective love is dangerous, if you’ve read my previous blog, you know what I mean!!)
Choose Your Friends Wisely
If you are in your pre-teen or teenage years, then my advice to you (feeling old to convey this message to kids, while I am one too) would be to choose your friends wisely.
Our teenage is a very tender age and we can easily get under a bad influence!!
REMEMBER, YOUR PERSONALITY, YOUR NATURE, YOUR BEHAVIOR IS CO-DEPENDENT UPON THE TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU CHOOSE TO BE WITH.
How will you know that if they are a good or a bad influence?
Now, this is for every age group and I am speaking from my personal past experience that you’ll get to know if that person has got some sort of a negative vibe to them or not.
1. They’ll be doing things that you’ll rather avoid doing but end up doing anyhow under their pressure.
2. They’ll not like you for you and would try to change you and make you like themselves.
3. They’ll hide things from you and will not tell you the actual truth.
4. They’ll tell you that you are close to them but in reality, would prefer sharing things with people who they think are like them.
5. They’ll make you feel embarrassed about your true self and will probably mock you whenever they get a chance.
Why we let ourselves be influenced by others?
Usually, we misjudge these instances as an innocent and fun part of our friendship with the other person because we think that they are our ‘best-friends’ and they have the right to do so.
But who gave them the right to mistreat you? They can’t influence you if you don’t allow them to. You have to create an imaginary boundary of your beliefs and principles that you don’t want to cross for anybody except you.
What to do to get rid of this negative influence?
You have to be clear about your principles and values to them as well as to yourself. If their values and your values don’t align with each other then that relationship can prove to be toxic in the near future.
Yes, I know opposites attract, but that doesn’t mean that those ‘opposites’ should have to stay together if they can’t maintain a healthy relation. Then those opposites should definitely repel for the betterment of both!!
It will hurt to leave your ‘friends’ but if you can’t do it, then leave it on your destiny and it will show you their true faces!!
You’ll realize it that they were never your well-wishers, it will hurt a lot but eventually, you’ll move on and find your magic beans!! (Yeah like Rachel AKA Jennifer Aniston from F.R.I.N.D.S. found hers when she started living independently)
If you know of any such people around you, then I guess I have dropped you a hint on how to tackle them!! (Thank me later, with a bar of dark chocolate probably!!)
Also, if you want to ask some life-related questions, you can chat with me by clicking on that side chat box and let’s bond over some positive vibes!!
Until then, live positively and happily!