Have you ever felt like a ‘needy-one’ in a friendship or in a relationship? Like it’s always you who asks them to hang out together, or go somewhere together? Basically, have you ever felt like if you wouldn’t take that initiative or that first step, maybe you guys will never meet?
Yup I know it’s a very bad feeling. Sometimes you might feel unwanted and feel like your presence in their life is absolutely unworthy. And still there you are making plans with them every weekend and they canceling those plans for their other priorities.
That’s kind of heartbreaking when you are not their priority like you used to be. It’s like you don’t want to force yourself on them and yet you have this underlying fear that if you’ll not ask them to meet, they might not do that either and you don’t want that to happen so you keep your self-esteem aside for the 1000th time and ask them to hang out.
Maintain your Self-Esteem or your Relationship
There is not enough space for self-esteem in a relationship or friendship. You don’t mind doing things, making grand gestures for the other because you do that out of love or sometimes fear because you don’t want to lose them.
Yet, there you are shredding away your self-esteem and selflessly giving yourself away to them in whatever way possible and there they are undervaluing your gestures and taking you for granted yet again.
But there comes a time when you’ll feel that you’ve given so much of yourself to them and you have nothing left for yourself. So, now you don’t know what to do without them and that’s why you keep on clinging onto that relationship because that’s all you have.
There is no such thing as “I’m busy, I don’t have time.”
When people give this excuse ‘I’m too busy I can’t go’ well they might actually be busy that day, but if they genuinely want to meet you, they’ll make some efforts from their side too.
For example, ‘Hey, sorry I can’t go today, I have a lot of pending work, but how about we meet up this weekend? It’s been so long and I MISS YOU.’ (and that weekend they actually text you first to know when you could meet. See, making that first gesture?)
‘Hey, I’m so sorry I can’t come today, I already have plans, but how about tomorrow? I want to meet you too!!’ (and again, actually calling you tomorrow to meet you because they genuinely want to meet you not because you told them to, but because they actually want to)
‘Hey, I am super busy right now but how about we catch up in the evening and grab a bit or something?’ (and they actually take you out for a dinner!!)
That sounds like an honest reply. And if you don’t get this reply anymore, then it’s time for you to give them some space and let them realize your value in their life.
People make time for who they want to make time for. Period.
Start Focusing on Yourself Instead
You’ve given them enough time and if you think that you’re not getting the same response from the other end, it’s high time for you to start focusing on yourself.
If they are too busy in their lives, you do that for yourself too. Just give them space and let them realize your value in their life. If they truly care about you, they’ll check up on you and would meet you sooner or later.
But if they don’t really care so much, you’ve got your answer and you might have outgrown that relationship!!
So, just move on for your own peace of mind!
Love is selfless, I know. But not at the cost of your self-esteem. Love should be balanced equally from both ends. A single person can’t balance it for long. That ship will drown sooner or later.
A Friendly Reminder for your Relationship!
So, if you are on the receiving end and think that you have made enough efforts to protect your friendship or relationship then it’s a reminder for you to give them space and start focusing on yourself.
And if you are the one who is taking the other person for granted, then let me tell you that you are making a big mistake here, and you might never get that person in your life ever again. So, just go and text/ call him/her and just say that you miss them and you want to see them.
Just close your eyes and imagine your life without them. What if one day they also stopped checking up on you and just left? Will you stop them or let them go?
You know you do miss them, so why not make a gesture? After all, they have done their part a lot of times. It’s high time you realize their value in your life and quit making excuses and go hug them.
Because they might not want much from you and your hug might make their day and make them feel valued.
If you truly love a person, you have to prove your love from time to time, because the other person is not a mind reader.
Don’t just say that you value them, SHOW THEM that you actually do.
Share this blog if you are too shy to convey your feelings directly to that person whose image came up while you were reading it and let GRATISOUL do the rest for you!! (*winks*)
Thank me later!! (Probably with a Pizza or a bar of dark chocolate maybe?)
If you want to share your feelings on the same, then you can write them down in the comments below!!
Apart from that, I upload a new video on my YouTube channel EVERY FRIDAY!! Are you following me there Gratisouls?
Follow the link to watch this video and comment there if you have ever been betrayed or not?
Also, if you want to ask some life-related questions, then you can chat with me by clicking on that side chat box and let’s bond over some positive vibes!!
Until then, live positively and happily!!